Logic Times

King Canute's Movie Reviews

Commentary by Aslan, 1/23/06, 11:46pm. Comments (8)

Hollywood needs a King Canute. This legendary Viking warrior who came to rule over England, Denmark and Norway a millennia ago knew the limits of power.

"Let all men know how empty and worthless is the power of kings."

When courtiers flattered him, exclaiming that his power was limitless, he had them remove his throne to the seashore to teach them a lesson in real power. There he sat down and commanded the tide to come no further, demonstrating how small was the power of men.

Like Canute's courtiers, Hollywood is delusional. Unlike Canute's court, no wise king governs that realm, ready to reign in the delusions of today's courtiers, a band of psuedo-intellectual high school dropouts with apparently massive multimedia power. The psychiatric definition of delusion is:

"A false belief based on incorrect inference about external reality that is firmly sustained despite what almost everyone else believes and despite what constitutes incontrovertible and obvious proof or evidence to the contrary."

What better describes Hollywood's belief that their cultural opinions are leading edge?

Seven great works of "cultural significance" have been offered up to the movie-going public this Oscar year…

Brokeback Mountain

"It's a deeply felt, emotional love story that deals with the uncharted, mysterious ways of the human heart just as so many mainstream films have before it. The two lovers here just happen to be men (here)."

Syriana

"Somehow, the movie convinces you, through its strengths of characterization and atmosphere, that it's showing a little of how the world really works -- and that the world's dark machinations are every bit as sordid and pitiless as your worst suspicions (here)."

Munich

"In his take on the 1972 Olympics tragedy, Spielberg somehow humanizes the terrorists as well as those who later pursue them across Europe (here)."

North Country

"The film is at its best when putting viewers in the position of feeling the smart of the abuse as the women do -- moreover, its persistent and accumulative effect (here)."

Constant Gardener

"A gripping thriller that exposes the shadowy parameters of a war against the poor and the powerless that is animated by corporate greed and political amorality (here)."

Good Night and Good Luck

"Every day, more spin remains encrypted, more stonewalling goes unchallenged, more stories go unreported. Good luck, indeed (here)."

TransAmerica

"A collision of adult sexual contradictions and teenage sexual survival filled with sensitivity, respect and, above all, humor (here)."

And America has answered…

Seven great lessons for the unwashed – enlightened stories about homosexual cowboys and conflicted terrorists, about corporate greed and journalistic nobility, about trans-gender struggles and male brutishness – all collectively ignored by the American people in favor of classic tales of good and evil, courage and nobility, sacrifice and love.

Despite "incontrovertible and obvious proof or evidence to the contrary," Hollywood continues its march towards the tar pits. Too bad the wisdom of King Canute is not there to redeem them in the end.

"Let all men know how empty and worthless is the power of moviemakers."

6: thomaspaul

February 12, 2006 8:04pm EST

1. Why not have a total for the last four movies, too?

2. Is the time reference fair?

a. Do any of the seven date back to when Passion came out?

b. Are there any other liberal-message movies like these 7 that have come out since Passion and which did well (but is not being counted)?

{Aslan: I was making the point that any one of those four movies by itself exceeded the sales of all seven of the preachy movies. And no, none date back to when the Passion came out.

Point 2.b. is very well taken, however, as it speaks to the validity of the essay. I have gone back and looked at the top 7 revenue-generating movies from all of 2005 to see if there are liberal, preachy successes that I overlooked. It appears that King Canute knows his movies!

Nothing preachy there!}

Comments

1: Ben Ballard

January 24, 2006 1:34am EST

You act like the 200 million dollars spent to see those movies is nothing. That is a helluva a lot of people seeing and liking those movies.

{Aslan: I disagree. At an average ticket price of $6.21, this is the number of people that have seen each of the films in question:

Heck, 3% of people surveyed (~ 6,360,000 in the adult population) about the 60-day child rape sentence imposed by a judge in Vermont thought the sentence was A-OK and 17% (~ 36,000,000) think Gerald Ford was a great president. By racking up viewership in the one to five million range, you are preaching to the choir and have demonstrated no cultural influence whatsoever.}

2: Larry Horacek

January 24, 2006 1:44am EST

Your article is timely, indeed. Tonight on NBC Nightly News, Brian Williams had a segment about Brokeback Mountain and how President Bush responded to a question about that movie. After airing the president's humorous response, Williams finished up the segment by saying Brokeback Mountain was, "at the top of the Box office for the past seven weeks." I quickly dashed off an email to NBC News to disabuse them of such BS and to ask that they please issue a retraction on tomorrow night's broadcast. We both know that NBC won't, but it is just one more example of the media colluding with the Hollywood view that the movies they award with globes and Oscars are loved by the masses. The box office figures for the seven films you portrayed show that the King really doesn't have any clothes.

{Aslan: I would like to take some credit for being prescient, but I will have to admit to only being lucky. I am sure that by "top," NBC means top ten, which of course, represents about 75% of the movies out at any one time!}

3: LOGOS

January 24, 2006 9:53am EST

This is really very good. It is interesting how the Liberals think their movies are relevant when in fact it's nothing more than insider Hollywood left-wing masturbation, or as it's called on the street "a commie circle jerk." Watch for all the gushing and weeping at the Oscars about how Humpback Mountain is a coming out party for homosexuals. And America endures.

{Aslan: When Logos returns, what else can be said?}

4: Brian S. Kennedy

January 24, 2006 11:58am EST

Hold on just a moment here, not that I’m a fan of liberally spun movies or anything, but I think the analysis is a little bit shallow.

Sure, we could use real numbers in dollars, but by that token we should all bow down to Wal-Mart instead of Mom and Pop stores because America has spoken and Wal-Mart is the better priced choice. Look at Good Night and Good Luck and Constant Gardner, nearly the same revenue, but one cost 3.64 times as much to make.

Instead I propose we look at the revenue vs. the budget, just like any good company.

I also take issue with most of the selections. Return of the King and Star Wars III already had a huge fan base and tons of merchandise. Chronicles of Narnia was a bit more obscure, but I'll touch on it later. Passion of the Christ is the only appropriate comparison I see, based solely on the fact it isn't as franchised, has a political point to make(or is highly politically charged), and its release is sketchy just because it will insight political fury.

Now, given the revenue vs. budget comparison:

Brockback made 3.21 times its budget.
Syriana made 90.87% its budget
Munich made 50.76% of its budget
North Country made 61.08% of its budget
Constant Gardener made 1.316 times its budget
Good Night and Good Luck made 4.87 times its budget
Transamerica made 87% of its budget

I feel the cumulative total is a bit ridiculous, kind of like putting a Limo next to a ****box car and saying that cars have (Limo + ****box)/2 value to consumers.

Now, looking at our Entertainment Favorites:

Chronicles of Narnia made 1.78 times its budget
The Passion made 37.077 times its budget
Star Wars III made 3.31 times its budget
Return of the King made 4.011 times its budget

Now obviously Passion of the Christ sweeps the rest without even trying. For the money put into it, enough people saw Passion of the Christ to make Mel Gibson a very rich man.

So for what it cost to produce it, Brokeback nearly equaled Star Wars III, easily clocked Narnia, and was defeated soundly by Return of the King. Good Night and Good Luck, however, beat all 3 of the entertainment Blockbusters.

Now, the other movies on the list were mostly big flops, oh well, not every movie succeeds.

The point I think King Canute would make is that moviemakers may be powerless to control their revenue and their movies' appeal, but they are within their limited power to produce a good product that will attract customers. Clearly, despite the controversy of the movies they were of good enough quality to make up for what they cost a few times over. Movies are ultimately tools to make money, any political point they make in the process aside.

Thanks for the great site Aslan.

{Aslan: I appreciate the thoughtful reply, but I think it makes the assumption that consumers go to movies based upon their budget. To some small extent and for certain movies carefully positioned (like King Kong 2005, for example), there is an element of truth to that. However, the roadside is littered with big budget disasters that, by and large, disprove this relationship. For every Passion (25M, budget, 277M gross) and Blair Witch Project (35K budget, 140M gross), there is an Alexander (155M budget, 34M gross) and Heaven’s Gate (44M budget, 3.5M gross). The material is what is in question and the overall appeal of a movie. Several of these movies are being lauded for Oscar consideration and indeed the Oscar winner is going to come from this group, and this has nothing to do with the profitability of these movies and everything to do with the perceived value of the message. The point of the essay was that the public rejects the message.}

5: William

January 28, 2006 1:56am EST

Nice job! About time someone tells it like it is! With the astounding advances in technology and special effects in the last few years alone, we enter a realm of infinite possibility in fantasy and science fiction film. Yet Hollywood is asleep at the switch with its obsession with dysfunctional relationships and all so transparent agenda!

Somebody pass the defibrillator.

{Aslan: You hit the nail on the head there. Hollywood is obsessed with dysfunctional relationships – dysfunctional people, actually. That is because there are, themselves, entirely dysfunctional.}

6: thomaspaul

Posted at the end of the article

7: Nicholas Scott

February 24, 2006 12:37am EST

Interesting article, though I must say that Munich isn't that bad if you view it as simply inspiration for a cyberpunk game (even if it is a bit lacking in the cyber, it still gets across a dystopian theme well). That, and the sort of work the Israelis do is all-too-similar to the work that the Player Characters tend to do in cyberpunk games.

{Aslan: }

8: to_the_right

February 27, 2006 1:56pm EST

You missed one of the most god-awful pieces of Hollywood moralizing in Crash. Every group hates every other group in that film.

{Aslan: You are absolutely correct. I did see that one – accidentally – and I will admit that it was slick filmmaking that hid a message of total pessimism about human nature. Good call.}