Logic Times

King Canute's Movie Reviews

Commentary by Aslan, 1/23/06, 11:46pm. Comments (0)

Hollywood needs a King Canute. This legendary Viking warrior who came to rule over England, Denmark and Norway a millennia ago knew the limits of power.  

"Let all men know how empty and worthless is the power of kings."

When courtiers flattered him, exclaiming that his power was limitless, he had them remove his throne to the seashore to teach them a lesson in real power.  There he sat down and commanded the tide to come no further, demonstrating how small was the power of men.

Like Canute's courtiers, Hollywood is delusional. Unlike Canute's court, no wise king governs that realm, ready to reign in the delusions of today's courtiers, a band of psuedo-intellectual high school dropouts with apparently massive multimedia power. The psychiatric definition of delusion is:

"A false belief based on incorrect inference about external reality that is firmly sustained despite what almost everyone else believes and despite what constitutes incontrovertible and obvious proof or evidence to the contrary."

What better describes Hollywood's belief that their cultural opinions are leading edge?

Seven great works of "cultural significance" have been offered up to the movie-going public this Oscar year…

Brokeback Mountain

"It's a deeply felt, emotional love story that deals with the uncharted, mysterious ways of the human heart just as so many mainstream films have before it. The two lovers here just happen to be men (here)."    

Syriana

"Somehow, the movie convinces you, through its strengths of characterization and atmosphere, that it's showing a little of how the world really works -- and that the world's dark machinations are every bit as sordid and pitiless as your worst suspicions (here)."

Munich

"In his take on the 1972 Olympics tragedy, Spielberg somehow humanizes the terrorists as well as those who later pursue them across Europe (here)."

North Country

"The film is at its best when putting viewers in the position of feeling the smart of the abuse as the women do -- moreover, its persistent and accumulative effect (here)."   

Constant Gardener

"A gripping thriller that exposes the shadowy parameters of a war against the poor and the powerless that is animated by corporate greed and political amorality (here)."

Good Night and Good Luck

"Every day, more spin remains encrypted, more stonewalling goes unchallenged, more stories go unreported. Good luck, indeed (here)."

TransAmerica

"A collision of adult sexual contradictions and teenage sexual survival filled with sensitivity, respect and, above all, humor (here)."

And America has answered…  

Seven great lessons for the unwashed – enlightened stories about homosexual cowboys and conflicted terrorists, about corporate greed and journalistic nobility, about trans-gender struggles and male brutishness – all collectively ignored by the American people in favor of classic takes of good and evil, courage and nobility, sacrifice and love.

Despite "incontrovertible and obvious proof or evidence to the contrary," Hollywood continues its march towards the tar pits. Too bad the wisdom of King Canute is not there to redeem them in the end.

"Let all men know how empty and worthless is the power of moviemakers."

Copyright ©  2006 Dan Hallagan. All Rights Reserved.