August 23, 2008

Well, well, well, the Democratic National Dysfunction is upon us my dear friends, and Ruprecht can't wait. Remember when you were a kid (all you 40-50 somethings), and we weren’t constipated by Political Correctness, local Carnivals would come rolling into town for the county fair or church fair, and all of them had a freak show. You know, the elephant man, the bearded lady, the two headed guy, and all of us would plop our quarters down and in an almost perverse sense of anticipation, sneak behind the curtains to gape in wonder at the freaks.

Well, thanks to the so-called social "progressives" (or regressives, depending on your point of view), those freak shows are long gone at Carnivals, but, not gone entirely. No, no. The carnival freak show has now been transposed, or as progessives like to say, evolved into the very body politic that banned them through PC; they my dear readers, have become the freaks we all love to gape and laugh at, and the biggest damn freak show in the universe is coming to a TV near you for free my friends: the Democratic National Convention.

Screw the Olympics, the real show is in Denver.

Every whacko, conspiracy nutbag, feminist, faggot, druggie, Black Liberation Theologist, commie, open border psycho, environmentalist moron, and one world fucktard is, as we speak, streaming their way to Denver to have their "voices heard," and it's gonna be like One Flew Over the Cookoo’s Nest without Nurse Ratchet watching the loons. You see, when there is a majority of one, as you have now in the Democratic Party, chaos must ensue, because every nutjob needs to be heard as The Obamination so eloquently puts it, and when you have 30,000 screaming nutjobs all wanting to be heard, chaos reigns supreme, a.k.a. the Tower of Babel, but the entertainment value is off the charts.

Now for the first time, my dear readers, Ruprecht has a secret copy of the DNC Denver Agenda which I will reveal to you:

DAY 1

• Gay, Lesbian & Homosexual Caucus: Queers and Dykes want full rights, including marriage, healthcare and social security benefits, and the right to copulate in public, and to express their faggotyness anywhere, anytime, and in any fashion whatsoever.
• Open Borders Caucus: Tear down the fence, open borders everywhere, free healthcare, education and social security benefits for all illegals and their extended families. Come one, come all.
• Environmental Caucus: Shut down all oil wells, nuclear, natural gas and coal plants. Windmills and geothermal are sorta OK. Cars must get 90mpg. Homes cannot be heated over 60 degrees in winter.

DAY 2

• Peace Caucus: No military, no wars, no missles, no nukes, no guns, no knives, no tasers, we strive to be like the Eloi in The Time Machine and wait, like sheep, for Al Qaeda to harvest us.
• Black Liberation Caucus: Kill whitey. Reparashuns. Kill whitey some more.
• Drug Caucus: Pot, coke, weed, pills, H, Meth, all legal, man, like right now.

DAY 3

• Teachers’ Caucus: More money, no accountability works for us.
• Lawyers’ Caucus: Sue anybody, anytime, all the time without any limits…works for us.
• AIDS Caucus: We can cornhole anybody anytime, anywhere and taxpayers pay for our AIDS medicine and give us social security too, sweetie.
• Communists’ Caucus: Man, this is better than the Old Soviet Union.

DAY 4

• MILE HIGH STADIUM: 70,000 screaming idiots with a cumulative IQ of a rhesus monkey.

Unfortunately, my dear readers, these are the loons and fucktards that the cosmically stupid electorate are going elect to lead us. Well, no pain, no gain. Let's all have $8.00 gas, 50 million illegals, 18% interest rates, and a military that can't fight it's way out of a paper bag, and maybe, just maybe, like after the Peanut Farmer, we all wake up and elect a true Conservative.

But, not yet, not yet.

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